Privacy Proxy: Purchase Physical Goods via Proxy

Every day we're losing a tiny bit more privacy. There are automated license plate readers tracking our vehicles, facial recognition cameras scanning our faces, and corporations tracking everything we buy. Cash is being criminalized, and arguments of safety trump whatever concerns privacy and security advocates raise.

We believe we can help claw back some resemblance of what was through a privacy conscious online shopping service. Through this service we will be enabling our customers to purchase goods from us that we don't stock.

Why are we doing this? Well, we know we don't have and can't stock every gadget you may need for a proper and most secure setup, but that doesn't mean we can't help you secure (purchase) what you need and do so in a way that is more private and pseudonymous. In most instances there is no law requiring us to log the serial number of a product, sell your data to a third party, or do any number of other malicious things that are standard practices in the industry today.

All you need to do to use our service is to let us know what good(s) you need using the form below, provide a little bit of info about the purchase, like the price of the goods are you looking to buy, where those goods can be bought,
and the related shipping charges. Then we can go and acquire the product.

Note: Please be aware this service is in beta and we apologize in advance for any unanticipated issues.

• We'll acquire almost any good so long as it's legal and within reason: We're not able to acquire live animals, food, alcoholic beverages, cigarettes, porn, adult products, cryptocurrencies, prepaid products like phone cards, gift cards, Visa/Master Card/American Express cards, drugs, guns, ammunition, fireworks, nuclear bombs, etc. Basically the sale has got to be more or less unregulated. Statistically most goods people look to buy anonymously are technology products.


• We don't have to preserve any identifying information related to a transaction or where the products get shipped and therefore those who need or wish to maximize their anonymity can: In other words you can reach out by phone (our phone system/provider will log the number you call from mind you), email (we support GPG encrypted emails and can delete emails on request), Matrix (this can be more anonymous if done properly, as you can delete messages yourself, message @mr.penguin:matrix.lrn.fm to start an order, this is a human being @ ThinkPenguin.com).


• We also accept Monero for payment independent of our regular order processing system (you can click other as the payment method at checkout, and then pay with Monero, or reach out via another method to avoid being logged by our systems, we can also delete orders on request after fulfillment if desired, or you can use our 'Camouflage my Proxy Purchase' service).

Please note we reserve the right to cancel and refund any Privacy Proxy order. It is also important to note that there are no returns for Privacy Proxy orders.

Pricing for the service is calculated at roughly 1.15 to 1.35 x the total purchase amount plus 2 x the shipping cost (all rounded up to the nearest $10). This random variation in the fee for the service helps create a disconnect that ensures the goods purchased can't be tied to a given customer. If you select the 'Camouflage my Proxy Purchase' option "additional" shipping charges will occur at checkout. Thus you will notice a $10 reduction in the price between the 'Camouflage my Proxy Purchase' and not. If you checkout without this option a 'free' shipping option will appear in its place since we're factoring the cost in here. In other words basically it's probably going to be about the same for most orders whether you get the 'Camouflage my Proxy Purchase' service option or not.

At the moment we’re setting this service up for those in the United States looking to purchase goods from third party businesses within the United States.

The way the service works: We will order the goods to our warehouse and upon arrival ship them onward to you.

Please be aware that if you use PayPal, a credit card, debit card, or a prepaid / gift card ‘debit’ card we'll require the shipping address to match the address on file with the connected financial institution. It’s also important to understand we can only accept US issued cards as US issued cards support address verification. If you would prefer additional anonymity we would recommend paying with Bitcoin, Bitcoin Cash, or Dash. For maximum privacy we recommend paying with Monero.

There may be additional information that we need to know when you place the order, like what color or variant of the product you are purchasing. Please include this in the notes section below the URL of where the product can be acquired.

This is important: We manage most of our own servers “in-house”, including this web server, and a backup server, but as we have an automated and actually functioning full disk backup system it’s important that any Privacy Proxy purchaser place their order prior to 5:00 PM eastern on Friday or hold off until after 6 AM eastern on Sunday. Why is this important to know? If we delete a Privacy Proxy purchase from an order it WILL NOT delete it from any backups that get made. Thus we need to ensure that Privacy Proxy orders are placed with enough time for us to scrub the order details before the automated backup process runs.

Lastly the first product in the cart may get sent to a third party payment processor (this is the case for at least credit cards/debit cards/and PayPal). Why does this occur? It acts as a description for what the charge was related to in the payment processor’s system. We do not have control over this data once payment is made so make sure you DO NOT have the Privacy Proxy Purchase showing in the shopping cart as the first item. If you do it will diminish some of the value of selecting the ‘Remove Proxy Purchase from order after shipping’ option. While someone investigating this data may not know what you actually purchased in any detail they will be able to connect the dots that what our ordering system shows is not what you actually ordered. In theory it could be combined with data on products we recently acquired to achieve a statistical guesstimate as to whom those goods may have been shipped to.

Add up the cost of the goods as shown by the businesses where the goods can be acquired, excluding taxes and shipping: *



Add up the shipping charges as shown by the businesses where the goods can be acquired: *